Thursday, August 24, 2006
In spite of your impressive service as our ninth planet the last 3/4 of a century, you failed to achieve tenure.
Your services as a planet are no long required.
You have been downsized.
(Sorry about that. It's all due to your crazy orbit... canted too far, I guess, out of the central plane. Having that moon doesn't help much, apparently.)
You have been reduced in rank, demoted.
You have been stripped of your titles.
You have become a minor player in our restructured solar system.
You are no longer considered a part of the core business.
You have been redeployed.
You shall henceforth be considered a dwarf planet.
Please hand over your key to the executive washroom and remove your personal effects from your cubicle by the end of the day.
You shall be removed from all orreries.
But, hey, thanks for the last 76 years!
Here's your gold watch!
See you at our next picnic!
See full story here.